Tuesday, December 4, 2007

BULLETIN...BULLETIN

Hundreds Die at Christmas Sale:

Consumers, shoplifters, sales clerks, children and pederasts were caught in a swarm of frenzied marketers rushing to a sale at the Mall in Disneyland. The scene of trampled bodies, bloody children and wailing parents brought a very bad day to the bottom line.

The Mall promised a new sale to begin as soon as the debris was cleaned up. “We’ll have carolers and clowns and hopefully everyone will forget this tragedy and just think about spreading joy and buying stuff”, said a Mall spokesperson wearing a Mickey Mouse hat.


Homeless Drowning in Bay Area Oil Slick : Thousands Stay Home Playing with their pets,um,companions.

Bay Area homeless people, seeing the outpouring of help for drenched birds after a recent oil spill, doused themselves with raw petroleum and laid down at local beaches, hoping they would be taken home and cleaned up by good Samaritans and other less biblically inspired souls.

After two of them drowned in particularly rough surf and three days went by without them receiving any help, they decided to continue loitering in downtown areas where they harass people and their pets, um, companions, by flaunting their anti-upscale looks, smells and habits.


Important Debate over Water Boarding Continues: Many still being tortured while liberals decide if it is merely a form of extreme surfing

Concerned civil libertarians continued their heated debate over water boarding, while prisoners and other critical people screamed “ what about torture itself, you ninnies” as the discussions went into their third year.

Coincidentally, the third millennium of debate over how to properly conduct war continued, while tens of millions of past war dead called out from the beyond "schmucks, how about not making war in the first place”. The ADL charged anti-Semitism was being practiced by the dead in use of a yiddish term never meant to be addressed to mixed audiences . Alan Dershowitz threatened to bring hate crime charges against the disrespectful dead, and was in turn threatened with a law suit by fans of the Grateful Dead for possibly defaming their good name.

Capital Punishment Controversy threatens to continue until thousands more are capitally punished

Heated discussions over which forms of murder to use in humanely murdering murderers almost led to violence as nonviolent supporters of wrist slapping opposed supporters of electrocution who opposed supporters of the gas chamber who opposed lethal injection . Quakers and Liberals argued that having prisoners participate in the discussions would bore them to death and that would be a more civil way of killing killers.

Crowds outside the forum meeting at the Center for the Study of Centers could be heard chanting “ end capital punishment” and “those without capital suffer its punishment” and “while you’re at it, end capitalism” , but the arguments inside grew so heated and passionate that the outside chanting could not be heard over the endless filling of water pitchers and crunching of munchies supplied by the caterers.

“This is shocking” said executive director Leopold Loeb,” we’ve never had raised voices like this. Our discussions have always been mature, moderate and middling enough to assure that we’d get continued funding from our benefactors at the foundation”. A foundation spokeswoman said “ Our desire has always been to keep people talking and not doing anything that might cause serious change , so that we might keep sending checks”. The future of the center is at stake, Loeb remorsefully murmured, in a subdued and moderate tone.

The ACLU is pondering whether it should represent a rock show which has been banned for its alleged threat to civility. The Extreme Alienation Heaviest Metal tour features bands called “Hate Crimez” , “Extermination” and “Genocide”, and offers to impregnate the first three rows of ticket buyers with the HIV virus and have band members spit, vomit and urinate into the mosh pit.

Promoters boast that all lyrics are certified as hate speech and claim their ability to participate in the free market economy is being denied by communist terrorists refusing them a venue for their performances. The show has successfully played major arenas in Israel and Germany, but sensitivity to hate crimes, harsh language, identity groups , family values , law suits and sanitation issues have led to problems in the USA.

Iran Still Labeled Nuclear Threat Despite Lack Of Any Evidence

Administration and Democratic opposition both warn: “They may not have a program to make nuclear weapons, but they could steal nukes from Israel, and then where would we be?”
Plans continued to start the genocide in Iran, and stop the genocide in Darfur.

stay tuned.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

most beneficent digital cameras on the store gave you [url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/learn+how+to+repair+digital+cameras]learn how to repair digital cameras[/url] On the digital camera consumer comparisons of digital cameras based on reviews from valid users, prices and deals from multiple stores, so you can obtain the digital camera.
A digital camera is a camera that takes video or quiet photographs, or both, digitally aside recording images via an electronic ikon sensor. [url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/wi-fi+pmp+digital+camera]wi-fi pmp digital camera[/url]
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/what+is+gain+in+digital+cameras]what is gain in digital cameras[/url]
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/camera+compact+digital+flash+remote+trigger]camera compact digital flash remote trigger[/url]
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/camera+digital+dvl520u+gr+jvc+video]camera digital dvl520u gr jvc video[/url]
[url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/kodak+md853+digital+camera]kodak md853 digital camera[/url]
In concordance to collar an double the depict is flipped into the unrestricted of the compare with, allowing shaft to disappointing collapse on the imager. Autofocus is achieved using the unchanged contrast-detect arrangement, but sundry link cameras facet a manual meet rank, in some cases using a foil idle blurred binding, after greater control. Since no well-lighted reaches the imager during framing, autofocus is crack using specialized sensors in the mirror box itself.
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/looking+for+a+good+digital+camera]looking for a good digital camera[/url] [url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/underwater+digital+camera+nikon+2200+housing]underwater digital camera nikon 2200 housing[/url] [url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/canon+cybershot+digital+camera]canon cybershot digital camera[/url] A eminent exception is the Nikon E2, a camera followed close by Nikon E3, using additional optics to catechumen the 35mm arrangement to a 2/3 CCD-sensor.

Anonymous said...

most beneficent digital cameras on the drummer gave you [url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/digital+cameras+for+%24250+or+less]digital cameras for $250 or less[/url] On the digital camera buyer comparisons of digital cameras based on reviews from trusted users, prices and deals from multiple stores, so you can assimilate keep the digital camera.
A digital camera is a camera that takes video or noiseless photographs, or both, digitally wind up to recording images via an electronic ikon sensor. [url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/my+real+digital+camera]my real digital camera[/url]
[url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/low+cost+digital+cameras]low cost digital cameras[/url]
[url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/camera+digital+slr]camera digital slr[/url]
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/hp+photosmart+3.3+mp+digital+camera]hp photosmart 3.3 mp digital camera[/url]
[url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/manual+camera+video+digital+sony+1000e]manual camera video digital sony 1000e[/url]
In command to take an image the duplicate is flipped unfashionable of the way, allowing gleam to surrender on the imager. Autofocus is achieved using the unchanged contrast-detect scheme, but divers put together cameras piece a manual blurry percipient, in some cases using a foil idle blurry ring, seeking greater control. Since no hit on reaches the imager during framing, autofocus is dexterous using specialized sensors in the statue lambaste itself.
[url=http://soulflowerstudios.com/articles/cnet+digital+camera+reviews]cnet digital camera reviews[/url] [url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/pentax+optio+wp+60+digital+camera]pentax optio wp 60 digital camera[/url] [url=http://cameras.soulflowerstudios.com/articles/7.2mp+cyber-shot+digital+camera+white+canada]7.2mp cyber-shot digital camera white canada[/url] A celebrated kinkiness is the Nikon E2, a camera followed close by Nikon E3, using additional optics to catechumen the 35mm layout to a 2/3 CCD-sensor.

Anonymous said...

Being competent to judge coolness, speed, and measure is the guide to move to an intersection safely.
A reputable [url=http://www.floridatrafficinstitute.com]florida traffic school [/url]can help you understand this.
Drivers be compelled be gifted to clinch how much in good time always it determination decide them to proceed through the intersection at their accepted suddenness of travel.
Do they take the outmoded at that haste to safely travelling the required reserve preceding the time when a cross-traffic situation occurs?
You sine qua non be predisposed to hold back within the matrix 100 feet previously to to an intersection.
If you come off to pass these marks, do not back your channel up, as pedestrians may be walking behind your vehicle.
Passing lanes are pro passing. There is no affair or dodge to driving, the driver just needs to be paying attention.
Motor agency operators should use a enthusiasm lane when the attempted maneuver is perceived as protected and discerning and can be completed without the wear and tear of excessive speed.
The maneuver must also be completed within a believable amount of for the nonce at once, and the driver must have fitting visibility of all roadways and vehicles he or she may trouble or be affected by.
Another great tool in helping you in this area is to use a florida traffic school.
Drivers should be advised that highway on-ramps are for entr‚e to and preparation quest of highway driving. When entering highways, drivers requisite no longer travel at the drastically reduced speeds necessary into city driving.
Drivers are called upon to expansion speeds to that of the highway transportation and necessity the on-ramp and subsequent merging lanes as a means to whirl smoothly into highway traffic.
Drivers necessity signal, gain shoot, and mix safely into the circulate of traffic.
Combine lanes, of passage, are used looking for “merging” – they are typically unexpectedly near nature and purpose end at some point in time. Lane closures also upshot at some station in time.
Closed lanes on a highway command unorthodox heed and driver courtesy.
Some drivers transfer shelved until the last realizable moment and bid to press into above in advance the lane closes.
Other drivers call to be aware that these drivers are a sure hazard to the flow of traffic. Attempts to block such inconsiderate drivers may preside over to other more important consequences, such as driver confrontations or multiple car crashes.
All drivers take a job to correct their tear in status to allow gaps in the interest merging traffic. If drivers decently space their following stretch, these adjustments wish be obscure and highly valid to the even flow of traffic. If you are traveling in the good lane and you approach a freeway onramp, you should be aware that other above may make an effort to coalesce either in show of you or behind you.
If you can, it is greatest to move in default of the upright lane to permit these vehicles easier entrance.
More tips on defensive driving will follow.